BEING MORE THAN JUST A PROVIDER: THOMAS ARUNA’S TAKE ON FATHERHOOD

 

“Like any rational and progressive human being, there are many things I would like to accomplish, the most important among which is to have a happy family and help the underprivileged. Growing up, I have always believed that human happiness comes from the smallest of positive changes we make in life.”

I am an alumnus of St Edwards Secondary School and the Albert Academy. A logistics graduate and a chartered member of the Institute of Logistics and Transport (CILT, Ghana). I have had over 12 years of progressive experience in Logistics operations.

However I consider my biggest achievement to be the day I became a father. For me, the joy of being a father is second to none!!!

There is nothing that has brought me more joy, peace and satisfaction in my life than simply being a good husband and a father to my family. 

I was raised up in an ardently catholic home where discipline, respect for elders, prayerfulness and responsibility marked our everyday life patterns. And like most African homes I grew up in an open and extended family along with other cousins being raised together in the same household. With this background, my parents imbibed in me the spirit of sharing hard-work, modesty and a desire for academic development.

And although they were very strict, my parents were very inspiring, loving and caring and I owe them a great level of appreciation for my life and upbringing. And I intend to be the best possible father to my daughter.

THE JOYS OF FATHERHOOD

On a daily basis I take great pride in demonstrating commitment and responsibility to my daughter through every day mundane tasks, like picking her up from school for example. I get to spend more time with her that and I look forward to hearing about her day’s activities the moment she steps into the car.

My daughter is everything and I want to spend as much time with her so despite my dedication to my job and focusing on my personal life I always want to make time for my child. Spending quality time with your child deepens relationships and create a bond that makes them feel very important and loved.

Aside her attention seeking which I find humorous, whenever I return from work, I am always welcomed with a warm hug and request for candy. I see it as a privilege. My daughter is everything and I want to spend as much time with her so despite my dedication to my job and focusing on my personal life I always want to make time for my child. Spending quality time with your child deepens relationships and create a bond that makes them feel very important and loved.

Here are some of the things I like to do with her and I think every father could do with their child or children even if they have very busy schedules:

• Take my Lunch time to pick her up: I always take my lunch time to pick her up from school and drop her home-The discussion from school to the house always create good memories and that is a lot of fun for the both of us. I enjoy it so much!

• Singing and Dancing: I am happy whenever I see my daughter expressing herself through singing and dancing because it is not just a fun activity, but it also helps to build up confidence in a child and drives away shyness.

• Walk and Drive Around: Most often we run and walk around the area and the house which she likes so much. We also drive to get ice cream and some candy from the supermarket. Which is great because I get to have conversations with her and learn more about her.

• Pray together: On Most days we have a family devotion in the morning and before sleep at night and we also attend church services together.

       THE LESSONS

Being a father is certainly an exciting, yet challenging journey in a man’s life. Being a father  may be a tough task, depending on your circumstance and the lessons you want to learn especially if you want add value to your child or children’s lives.

So who makes a good father? Well, I don’t have all the answers and each day I learn new things about fatherhood but here is what I can say:

• Lead by Example: Your children are looking up to you whether you know it not so it is up to us to live a life worthy of emulation. A good father molds his kids into well rounded members of the society by teaching them values like honesty.

• Trust and Discipline: A good father tries hard to earn the trust of his kids. He is true to his word and relays any challenges that affect the delivery of any promises he makes to his family. His children know they can count on him. While a father showers love and affection to his kids, he also owes them the standard commitment to teach them discipline and good ethos.

• Provides the necessities-As the bread breadwinner we are responsible for the provision of good life for our kids and family in terms of shelter, food, education, proper health care, love, attention and security.

• Respect and love your wife-It is safe to say kids will always be in a very good spirit when they realize both parents are working together harmoniously. A father should love and respect his wife and serve as example to his kids. A good father should be kind and respectful to their mother. Always support their mother and show a united front to your children. How you treat their mother will affect their self-esteem and their future relationships.

MORE THAN JUST A PROVIDER

Regardless of how involved the dad might be in helping to raise his children, society still wrongly see men as the lesser parental counterparts. Times are changing and just like how we have more women in the workforce today, more men are becoming more involved in the lives of their children beyond what tradition dictates.

The society should encourage this movement by moving away from the “Old fashioned” detached father stereotype. Families can encourage the male relatives to be more proactive in this front and schools can design programs and activities that include more father-child involvement.

There is so much more to being a father than just being a provider to your kids and it is time we explored the endless possibilities.