ALL I NEED IS SEVEN MINUTES TO TELL YOU WHY I THINK SEX IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

In Africa as in many other places, sex is a taboo. Open discussions around sex are frowned upon, it’s no secret though that we indulge in the practice.

This is confirmed by current estimates which indicate that roughly 83 million people are being added to the world’s population every year. – UNDP

While this might be a deterrent, we must admit that babies are not the only by- product of sex. Research has shown an increase in productivity and happiness for people that have regular sex. Sex is important; it is a subject that must be discussed by all. More so with the current increase in sexually transmitted diseases, with issues around consensual sex and compulsive sexual behaviours in our societies.

This week we met with a married professional in Freetown who shared her thoughts on sex:

1. Sex is a beautiful thing. If I must describe my sex life using one word it will be so hard, so let’s just settle for breath-taking.

2. Arrest Social Media– how I wish this was possible. I feel strongly that social media has trivialised sex. It makes it look like much thought should not be put into it. Sex is not a trivial matter or action. It’s sacred. SEX is that moment when two people decide to be open and vulnerable to each other, uniting to become one. So much is shared during sex, it affects every aspect of our being.  I am saddened by the fact that our generation is trying hard to make it look like “it’s not a big deal”. This I think is wrong. Can we now say that social media encourages meaningless sex.

3. Sexing is a contract that is binding, it must be treated seriously. I am all for waiting till you are married, better still a committed relationship. Why? Because safe sex is very important. You must trust your partner enough to discuss your sexual needs. Married Africans must understand that sex is something both parties can and should enjoy and holding back your body does not help you achieve that.

4. Confessions: My most embarrassing sexual experience! That time when I had a little too much to drink and I was very tipsy and I had sex with someone. For me it wasn’t meaningless even in that state but it was against my better judgment to have sex with someone who was already in another relationship. After that incident I acted like it had never happened. What would you have done in my case?

5. The greatest sexual myth in West Africa is the belief that sex is unclean and because of that it must be done in secret. We need to develop frank conversations around sex.  Many of us lead lives governed by what people think of us. We have been made to believe, that the idea of someone knowing how frank you are about the topic may lead them to thinking negatively about you. How does she know it all? (Hmm) Our elders may find it rude to speak openly about sex because of how they were raised. Times have changed and awareness is probably the best mechanism to deal with the negativity that comes with the topic.

6. Physical attraction is not the only ingredient for mind-blowing sex. I still feel love and understanding makes it enjoyable for both parties. I believe some sort of affection and commonness must be felt before sex.

7. Let’s talk about sex! This subject is still a taboo in most parts of the world and yet we have a large population of our youth who are sexually active. It is no secret that sexually transmitted diseases are on the increase. I think demystifying sex without trivializing it will help young people practice safe sex or abstain as and when they can. People have to be more open about the subject. I am betting on the fact that sex education and community engagements will help kill curiosity. Most people experiment with sex due to curiosity.

How many times did you see the word sex in the article? Sex, we should all talk about sex. It’s such an intricate part of our society.

 Write us today if you want to join in our #sexseptember series, everything you should know about sex on your favourite lifestyle blog: info @arianadiaries.com