A RAINBOW BABY STORY: AS TOLD BY AN AFRICAN QUEEN

A rainbow baby is a baby born after a miscarriage, stillborn, or neonatal death.  It is called a rainbow baby because it is like a rainbow after a storm: something beautiful after something scary and dark.

Every year, Since 2002 the 9th -15th  October is termed Baby Loss Awareness Week . This aims to raise awareness about pregnancy and baby loss. How we wish this awareness would transcend borders and bring hope to  the many parents who never get the chance to mourn their loss, or celebrate their rainbow babies.

Sadly there is a deafening silence surrounding miscarriage in Sub Saharan Africa. Women who were affected by miscarriage crave for shoulders to lean on after being emotional traumatized and physically drained under the circumstances of miscarriage.

At Ariana Diaries we are becoming particularly interested in sharing stories that highlight the vulnerable state of humans, the intimate struggles that we face behind closed doors and how we navigate life despite the hardship, pain and sometimes insurmountable loss. We hold pregnancy loss dear and perhaps more importantly creating the awareness about losing pregnancies and babies. This interview is an ode to all parents who continually struggle to make it work, all those who are trying to have that baby, one more time.

October 15 is also International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and is recognised across the world. Today at 7:00 pm we would like to invite you to join the ‘Global wave of light‘ with other families across the world to say a prayer for couples with fertility issues, those who have lost a baby and all who are struggling from the loss of a baby.

In recognition of this day, we decided to interview Kaata Minah, a young leader, advocate and entrepreneur in Sierra Leone who suffered multiple miscarriages.

We would like for you to start from where you feel comfortable, how it all began? Because most times people ask parents with children, why do you keep trying to have a second child even when it’s difficult? So what was it for you, that made you want to have a second child and stay through this  excruciating journey.

KAATA MINAH : So for me, I had Julline at 25, I was really young and she is basically my mom’s daughter to be honest, because she does everything for her and I just started adulthood.

I was working so I did not care for her in those early moments, like would have wanted, so after that we decided that we were going to have another baby. I had always wanted a lot of kids, I wanted four kids but after I had the experience with Julline and am like no!! I don’t think I want four kids anymore.  I just wanted another child, my husband wanted three kids so I said let’s do two now and then we will discuss after the second child. 

He had to go study for a couple of years and on return we started trying, to be honest, getting pregnant  has never really been a problem for us because for some reason God made us very compatible in that area.

He came back in 2019, for the holidays and that was the year he was supposed to come back for good. Interestingly, I got pregnant when He was on Holiday in January- February. I was ecstatic and said ‘finally 2nd baby is here’, six weeks later all hell broke loose.  I must say this is the one I remember the most because it was very symbolic, on International women’s day : March 8^th  2019.

I remember being in a programme at British council and it was an event with great women speakers, I was hooked on listening and  then I felt some strange sensations in my tummy, you know the way you feel when you are about seeing your period. 

Even so early on, I knew  I was  pregnant. I get to know almost immediately because I am very particular about my periods and my periods are nearly always on point. By then I was six weeks gone, as per the pregnancy test. In fact I had already started going to pre-natal clinic, and I was  confirmed pregnant by a medical professional.

Here I was seated at this women’s event with a tummy ache, so I said let me go check. To me at that point, you know you we read about it all the time, that miscarriage is very common with women and things like that, but to me it was not something that will happen to me. I was only twenty nine, I reassured myself that I was still young and it was older women who struggled with miscarriages’ etc. 

Before you went to the bathroom, did it cross your mind for once that you might be losing the baby at that point?

KAATA MINAH : At that point, NO, because even when I went to the bathroom, I didn’t see anything and I just said okay, maybe it’s just something that might be happening in my system. But then I had a client that I had to go meet at family kingdom for her son’s birthday, so we were to go and look at the location and everything, she was calling me so I left the event and on my way to family kingdom, I felt pain, the pain was so severe.

So I went straight to the bathroom at family kingdom and that was when I knew. I am like ohhh Lord!! It is a miscarriage, at that moment I confirmed that it was really happening to me.

I decided to go back to the hospital to the doctor I was seeing, so I went back and they confirmed it. By that time: I was so numb. They said I needed to do cleaning and everything but I was just sitting there because I was still in shock.

This should not be happening, I had a plan.  I was going have a baby by November. You know how you’ve planned your life, that by next year you are going to be doing something else, the plan was supposed to hold right?

I called my mum and she was like, thank God it happened now, it was really young, at least just be grateful and everything. I called a friend, because we needed to do cleaning, so a friend took me to PCMH where we went to go see another Doctor (because my sister in law a doctor, was convinced that was the best option locally).

We came home, a couple of my friends came over and we had ice-cream and then they left me. I started thinking about it, how did this happen and  why? I don’t understand!

As the days went on, the thoughts multiplied but  everyone encouraged me to let go. So I tried, I tried really hard to get over it.

Everybody said that at least I had a child already, our precious Julline. Unlike some people that go through this without another child, and to be honest I got comfort in that really by just seeing her.

To be continued, watch out for Part 2….