I had heard about sickle cell anaemia but I had little or no knowledge about what exactly it was until I fell in love with a man who was affected by it. I never would have imagined that sickle cell would change my life, but it did.
Let me tell you a little about myself and share my story. I am Augusta Sevali . Last week I turned 26. I am a graduate of Philosophy from the Fourah Bay College University. I have a beautiful daughter named Christine Sevali.
I enjoy putting fresh produces together to make amazing meals because I consider cooking very therapeutic. I can binge-watch a whole series in a day (before I became a mum of course), now I spend my TV time watching Peppa Pig.
Before graduating, I had always known that I was destined for business so instead of taking the “normal” route-which is to find a job. I thought about ideas- What did I enjoy doing more and will get paid for offering it as a service.
The life I want for my daughter and I is very expensive, so I am prepared to work. I know that mastery sometimes demands blood, sweat, and tears . I also believe in finding joy in the little things.
THERE’S ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO A COIN
A healthy relationship for me is one where my significant other is comfortable enough to tell me the truth no matter how ugly. I like to be given the option to make informed decisions. I strongly believe assumptions ruin relationships more than the actual truth. My mum always said this “you don’t have to remember what you said if it was the truth”. I am mostly attracted to a polite person. A lot of people from this side of the world lack manners, so finding James was like hitting the jackpot
James was an amazing person. He was the “nice and outgoing” one in the relationship. On the day we met I was heading home after visiting a friend while he was coming from a weekly church service. We boarded the same taxi, he kept teasing me to smile more and we started a conversation. Before we parted ways, we exchanged numbers. He kept in touch and after almost a month of regular phone conversations, he asked me out on a beach stroll. He would always bring biscuits and juices because that was all he could afford then.
On the 4th date he finally told me he had something to say, I acted clueless even though I knew what it was and I had been waiting eagerly for that “something” to be said.
He told me he liked me, I blushed so hard I could remember it showed on my dark skin. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long and we broke up a short while after because he was always busy for reasons I didn’t know at that time (It was much later that he told me he had to focus on his final exams). But Fate stepped in again: two years after that we met again in a taxi and he never let me go again. We got married in June 2015.
IF WALLS COULD TALK
Our Fairy tale / love story, however, had a short and unhappy ending. James passed away on the 7 September 2016, one month and four days away from his birthday, due to complications from sickle cell anaemia. I was devastated, my entire life crashed the very second it happened. We had only been married for a year and we had a ten-month-old daughter. I was only 23 years old.
I had never wanted to get married that early or to even have a child. I did it because it was all he talked about, he wanted to have a family before he turned 30, which he did not. I had families and friends around me, trying to make me laugh every day, it wasn’t working.
I needed to heal on my own and fast because I had become depressed with suicidal thoughts. I started going out to forget my pain, but every time I came back home, it felt like I picked them up at the door. So I started going out more and turned to alcohol to help me forget. I never wanted to come home sober, I was afraid I would hurt myself and my daughter didn’t deserve that. Eventually, I got tired of running away from my pain. I had to make some changes, I went out less, drank less. I had to face those demons and I am proud to say I beat them and I was ready to take care of my child and conquer the world.
My lifestyle after my husband passed away angered many. I had pictures taken of me secretly, for whatever reason.
At a point I thought I was the most talked about young woman in Sierra Leone. Rumour had it that I killed my husband because I wanted to live a “reckless” life with the money he left. I was judged because I did not grieve the “normal” way. I was labeled “the husband killer”. A lot of people who said they had my back after my husband’s passing stopped talking to me altogether. I never let rumors get to me and it certainly did not get to me then because I knew what I was doing was best for my daughter and me.
Grief is a relative term, do not let anyone tell you how to heal, they don’t feel your pain, they don’t understand what you’re going through. Do what’s best for you, as long as it brings you out of your misery.
I want to use my story to start a genotype awareness in Sierra Leone. Sickle cell in the western parts of the world is not as deadly as it is here and in some other developing countries.
There’s no cure for now but the plan is to reach as many people as possible. Getting them to know their genotype before deciding to have a child. This information will help someone make better choices in terms of relationships and make better decisions.
Are you working on changing the narrative around sickle-cell anaemia in Sierra Leone ? Why don’t you can reach out to Augusta.