2023: THRILLS AND TWISTS – NAVIGATING MY ROLLER COASTER YEAR
December 31, 2023
In retrospect, 2023 stands as a testament to my journey through peaks, valleys, and the spaces in between. It’s a year that prompted reflection, cataloging the invaluable lessons learnt, and acknowledging the transformative glimmers that have forever altered the course of my life.
Gratitude Overflowing: Kindness – abundant. Faith – in abundance. Love – an overflow – Ariana Oluwole
Throughout 2023, hospitals across continents became a familiar backdrop to my life. Each month unfolded within the confines of a hospital room, a setting for treatments, procedures, and the waiting game for prescription drugs. The year became a roller coaster, marked by significant losses and gains. Amid the pervasive scent of my blood, pain became a constant companion, and at times, death seemed a tempting release. However, I am grateful for tears that fueled my determination to fight for purpose and live out my destiny.
How It Started
Entering the year with optimism, I embraced healing and recovery from two major surgeries in 2022 and the heartbreak of losing my beloved Papa. My meticulously crafted blueprint for the year included:
Expanding my personal development coaching practice internationally.
Establishing Ariana Diaries Media as a media consultancy focusing on holistic lifestyle and entrepreneurship education.
Collaborating on my first early childhood education and development research paper.
Launching Narnia’s training hub as part of our 10-year anniversary.
Exploring the dating scene and its possibilities.
Little did I know that God had alternative plans, and that grace and grit would be my guiding forces. Ironically this beautiful blue print became an organic tool, changing and making space for what truly matters: priotizing me.
Navigating the Highs of 2023
When you are ill or out of sorts, everything else becomes a blur.Coordinating my teams and projects to function effectively in my absence, especially when I had to stop working: became a test of faith. Releasing the reins was initially challenging, accompanied by anxieties about meeting client expectations. When you are vulnerable, people would try to take advantage- be quick to weed out the manipulators. Thankfully with a robust support system, mentors, and technology, my process became smoother. Successfully recording highs that I thought were impossible. Like coordinating the 2nd Sierraeye Mayoral debate, a highly controversial process but memorable event (in Sierra Leone) or gaining International recognition as one of the 100 Most Impactful Change Makers.
Even though we had less blogposts and structured programs, Ariana Diaries grew! We released our first physical lifestyle product for Ariana Diaries, a tumbler with affirmations. We had 28,874 unique visitors; that’s the number of new people who visited the blog from 162 countries. We reached and influenced people in countries such as Fiji, Burundi, New Zealand, Bhutan, Nicaragua, Papua New Guinea and Kyrgyzstan. Yes, you can read that again.
This Queen, designed and curated a series of successful teambuilding and strategy workshops for the first half of the year for different multi nationals companies.
Organised noteworthy children, parenting and family events through Narnia Educational Group and it’s partners. I am so grateful to God and proud of myself. It is a reminder to self, that hard work is not always smart work.
Lesson One: Embracing faith and understanding the complexities of success.
‘Faith’ the complete trust in the supernatural and the GOD Factor. Science I believe is the finger of God at work. How else do we explain the joys of falling in love, the pain of losing dear ones, the way one person works hard to build an empire and the other has to be buried by the community?
Not one of us can truly say, our achievements were self- made. Your efforts, hard work, commitment and knowledge are guiding posts and contributing factors to the whole. Until we fully understand the complexities of success and living a life of purpose. I raise a glass to God.
I do not know about you but it was only faith in God that made me record such highs otherwise humanly unexplainable, as I had to manage being ill almost all of the time while fighting debilitating levels of pain and blood loss almost daily.
Lesson Two: Letting go of perfectionism and trusting the process.
This was super hard, I won’t even deny it.
Once it was clear that I could no longer carry out my tasks at my best. I had to take the back seat. Sometimes, I would watch catastrophic events unfold in front of my eyes and I was too weak to take any action. I had to embrace the truth that entrepreneurship is a journey with ups and downs, and learning to appreciate the experiences along the way can make the entire process more fulfilling. I had to rely heavily on my guts and intuition to make decisions that were important. I had to keep quiet, when all I wanted was to correct, advise and admonish. I had to trust in the abilities, skills and capabilities of the people who worked with me despite the murmurs of the naysayers and the critics who would bombard me with negative information, not having a clue of what I faced within my four walls.
Lesson Three: Being still during uncertainty and trusting in the present moment.
Did you know that mangrove trees exemplify being still during uncertainty. Being busy does not always mean productivity. I am certainly going to stay in this space for a bit. Nature exhibits so much grace, let’s take mangroves often face fluctuating water levels, variable salinity, and tropical storms.
When faced with uncertainty, mangroves display resilience by maintaining a relatively constant appearance. Their intricate root systems stabilize the shoreline and provide a buffer against storm surges. Even in the face of unpredictable weather and environmental changes, mangroves showcase the power of remaining steadfast and adapting to uncertainty with their unique adaptations. Get your ‘Mangroove’ on, Okay?
Lows and Everything in Between
While achieving highs, regrettably I wasn’t at my best with my work teams and family. I must confess that reactivity, impatience, and moodiness became unwanted guests in my life. I guess it stemmed from the fear of dying and the overwhelming load of prescription drugs. Thankfully self-accountability and therapy helped me implement loads of self-care and rest. Saying no to public engagements and taking a five months break from active work were deeply personal decisions that I struggled with but became essential to me.
The truth is , once I accepted that I was struggling to keep working. and all I needed was to rest and be taken care of. The load became lighter, I could finally listen to my body.PEACE flowed like a river.
Lesson Four: Cultivating a Supportive Network and Nurturing Circles of Trust
As you navigate the journey of life with a sense of accomplishment and purpose, it becomes imperative to deliberately shape your social landscape. Surrounding yourself with genuine supporters and being mindful of your circles of trust is an art that can elevate your personal and professional life. 2023, would have been extremely difficult for me if I did not have this.
I encourage you, now that your life and intentions are on a positive trajectory, it’s time to expand and fortify your networks. Seek out individuals who are not just acquaintances, but those willing to go the extra mile with you. In Rotary, we emphasize the importance of the three T’s – Time, Treasure, and Talent. The people in your life should be willing to share their time, talent, and treasures to foster a reciprocal relationship. This mutual support system becomes particularly crucial when facing challenges like mine- how else would I have handled medical bills, travel expenses, household responsibilities, or meeting other financial commitments? I want to say thank you to my family and networks for their willing investments.
Dear reader, take a reflective step back and compile a list of the significant individuals who have played a role in your life this year. Consider how each person has positively impacted your journey. Have they shared their time by being there for you in moments of need? Have they contributed their talents to help you overcome obstacles or achieve your goals? Have they been generous with their treasures, offering financial or material support when it mattered most?
Beautify your connections by recognizing and appreciating the symbiotic nature of these relationships. Genuine supporters not only celebrate your successes but also stand by you during challenging times. As you nurture your circles of trust, focus on building relationships that are rooted in authenticity, reciprocity, and shared values. This intentional approach to your social ecosystem will not only beautify your life but also provide a resilient foundation for future endeavors.
Lesson Five: Block out the noise and appreciate what you have. Arguably, our greastest gift is a fully functional mind, body and spirit. If you cannot be in sync with yourself, you are not well or happy enough. Nothing you do, will be good enough. Everybody you meet forms a perception, everyone has an expectation. You are not responsible to tick those boxes. You are not expected to justify why your actions change. Sadly, you will be misunderstood by many. In my case, some people thought I was being distant, acting tough when I declined invitations to high value opportunities. I also realised that less is often times more. I do not need to be involved in everything.Priorities are important.
My advice would be this: if you are close enough to sense changes in people, be sensitive enough to ask the right questions. Do not probe, as sometimes when you are going through a dark place. The last thing you might want to do is talk about it.
Lesson Six: Transformative periods are lonely.Think the caterpillar metamorphsoing into a butterfly. It requires space, isolation and time.
We live in a very transactional world! Once you take the back seat and be quiet, most people forget you. They forget your contributions, they forget the good times.
Often times, this is the reason why many people who are ill or facing challenges become depressed. If you have been a pillar of support to many, you feel it is only natural that they show up for you. The sad reality, some will not.
I encourage you, not to blame them.
Do not build up resentment or anger. In this journey called LIFE, people are fighting silent battles that you know nothing about. To stay in your power and in your truth. You would have to befriend yourself. Date yourself, spend time with yourself. Rest, because you are so worthy.
Lesson Seven: Embracing the Splendor of Fearless Abandon
In the intricate dance of life, we often confine ourselves within self-imposed cages, boxing in the wild spirit that longs to break free. How hard we try to conform! Yet, this year, I surprised even myself with the audacious decisions I made. While it might not always be pleasing for others to witness you dance unreservedly, to laugh in defiance, do it anyway.
Among my close family, I’ve earned the moniker of a cat, boasting multiple lives. Each brush with mortality brought me closer to a profound realization — we exist in this LIFE only once. On days when fortitude graced me, I opted for celebration, indulging in brunches, embarking on hikes, and immersing myself in novel experiences. For a consecutive five months, I challenged the monotony, committing to a new experience each month. This deliberate choice not only infused anticipation into my routine but also kindled a flame of hope within.
Glimmers: Hope for the Future
Your daily habits truly define who you are, they would help you during your dark and difficult times. I encourage you to invest in the tools that will change your life. Here are some tools that I utilize and I am certain would amplify the impact of your daily habits:
Gratitude practices, such as gratitude journaling making it easier for you to express and reflect on the things, you’re thankful for each day.
Consider incorporating mindfulness meditation into your routine. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through meditation exercises, helping you stay present and focused. Regular meditation can enhance your overall well-being and resilience.
Positive affirmations can be powerful tools for cultivating a positive mindset. We share them regularly on Ariana Diaries or implement “I Am……. statements” to start your day in front of a mirror with uplifting and empowering statements that reinforce positivity.
Infuse positivity into your daily routine by listening to uplifting podcasts. Choose content that motivates and inspires you, serving as a source of encouragement throughout your day.Actively practice ‘Acts of Kindness’ as a way of life. Kind strangers, near and far were a big boost for me.
Try out fitness and wellness tracking: physical activity is closely linked to mental well-being. Use fitness and wellness tracking apps like MyFitnessPal or Fitbit to monitor your exercise, sleep, and overall health. A healthy body contributes to a positive mindset.
Invest in the things, people and environments that make you laugh! Comedy, Karaoke?
Find a creative outlet, reading books for pleasure, art, gardening and dance made me forget my worries, it might help you too.
From my beating heart to yours; these are some of the tools that have helped me through 2023.
I hope sharing my year in review, my lessons learnt and the tools that supported me will bring you positivity, courage, and growth in the coming year.
May 2024, be kinder, more generous and abundant to us.
